The Art of Never Growing Up...

Oh Bogtrollops and Blargnations!

2008-04-12T19:52:00.002+01:00

Have you ever had a weird chastising email from a person you have never met? Well this morning I got an email from someone I'd never met, chastising me for not spreading the love of the wiggle enough, because I hadn't replied to her original email to meet up with her to teach her new moves. Well excuse me! So despite being sick, am I not the one that set up and offered a prize of £50 in a competition for hula hoop moves? Am I not the one that tried very hard to organise a hoop meet for all the UK hoopers on Hyperloop Hoop and Tribe? Did this person get involved in either of these things? Did she f^@&! I've never set eyes on this person before, yet she has managed to get hold of Jon's mobile phone number, some how and she is telling me I'm not living up to her ideal of what a dedicated hula hooper is.

To be fair she has sent me an apology since, because I explained that I have been ill and that is why I hadn't contacted her about meeting up, but honestly, where do some people get off? I would never have the nerve to send someone I didn't know an email like that. Blah! I really didn't need this sort of negative input into my life right now. It's hard enough to keep going without being reminded by a stranger that you are not living up to peoples expectations of you.

Good intentions don't always work out.

2008-04-10T20:25:00.002+01:00

Last night, before going to sleep, I decided that as soon as I woke up I would get up and dressed and start cleaning up this house. I had all good intentions of dusting and hooving through, but when it came to it I woke up really stiff and my brain took hours to get into gear. It took me from 8.30 am until about 11.30 am to even get out of bed and get dressed.

I did manage to go into the garden later on and help Jon to cut back a few more bramble bushes, that is until it started to rain. I didn't really manage to do all that much but it's better than nothing. I am now back in bed, trying to get warm. My bodies thermostat is a bit screwed up. I don't seem to be able to keep it in balance. I swing from feeling freezing up to feeling faint from being too hot.

Ah well. Maybe I'll get some cleaning done tomorrow, before we get lost in a great big pile of dust.

No energy

2008-04-06T18:54:00.003+01:00

I'm laying in bed trying hard not to be miserable. No Energy and no will power to force myself to do anything. I have a million and one ideas bouncing around my head but no way of sorting out any of them into becoming a reality. I'm feeling very trapped inside this body of mine.

What I need is a person that has no ideas and nothing to do. A person who can be the doer for all my ideas. Team work! Jon isn't really a doer, he is more of a day dreamer than I am. He'd rather spend all day playing World of Warcraft than even pick up a paint brush. This house will never get finished!

Maybe I should put an ad in the paper for a handy person. A person who can make my ideas become reality. Hmmm... or I could just have a body transplant.

If that isn't possible, it might be time to get the giant bunny costume and take a trip to the vets.

Strange emotional day

2008-04-04T10:03:00.002+01:00

Yesterday I had to go into town to have a medical with the benefit office. When you are on long term sick and they have moved you onto incapacity benefit every now and then they "invite" you in for a medical examination. If you don't go they remove your benefit, so it's an invitation you can't really afford to turn down.

I understand totally why this has to be done and I know that without balances and checks the benefit system would fall apart and those in most need would fall through the cracks and get nothing, but no matter how smiley, polite and sympathetic looking the person you see in these medicals is, they still have to ask you the government set questions that end up with you feeling like they think you are trying to con them out of money.

No matter that you ache all over and have so much pain that it takes all your will power to not slide off the chair you are sitting on, lay on the floor and cry. You still come away from the meeting feeling like maybe they will stop your benefit.

Dear Benefits Minister

I really don't want to be on benefit. I don't want to have to accept your money. I want to be out there working and earning my own wage. I want to be fit and healthy and still be up to date and current in the Microbiology field, working on some kind of R&D project. I don't want to be a burden on society, so please stop rubbing it in and change the questions and the tone of the medical exam. If I could survive without your kind help I would, but I can't.

I paid national insurance the whole time I was able to work and if I ever become able to work again I will happily pay it again, but please, please, please stop making me feel guilty for something I can do nothing about. I don't choose to be ill. I just am.

Yours, in Pain,
Skully

I've found him!

2008-03-31T18:52:00.002+01:00

He finally called today. He and Nick are both fine and on their way home. I'll kick his teeth in when he gets here... not really. I'll hug his little socks off probably. Pfffft Boys!

No sleep, worried sick

2008-03-31T11:14:00.004+01:00

Now I know that I shouldn't worry, but I do. I worry about stupid things all the time. I also have a vivid imagination which makes it worse as I always imaging really bad things happening to my loved ones when I don't know they are safe.

Jon is missing... well not really missing. He just isn't home yet from the BJC. Everyone else is home. They have all been talking to me on MSN asking "Is Jon home yet?" Now there is a chance Jon and Nick went off after the BJC to see a friend, as this was discussed before setting off, but I'm not sure. Jon's phone just tells me he can't receive calls, so now all I have left are images in my head of Nick and Jon in an up turned car in a ditch somewhere.

This is stupid I know, but the image is so strong that I didn't sleep all night and now in my tired state I'm unable to think very rationally and I'm panicking.

Knowing Jon he's stroll through the door later without a worry in the world, not even realising he has stressed the hell out of me. If his phone is dead does he not know he can use landlines to tell me he is ok? Arrrgggghhhhhh! MEN!

Where I'd like to be right now instead of here.

2008-03-28T17:32:00.015Z

Jon and I both have a hankering to move from the house we are in now to live on a houseboat. Now we know to sink all our house money into a boat would be a bit of a mistake and that we would be better off investing in bricks and mortar, so what we need to do is find a property to buy, rent out that property and then use the mortgage money from the house to buy the boat. That all takes time and a lot of research and energy (something I've been lacking for a while).

The other problem we have is we want to move to Bristol or the surrounding area, but getting a property we can afford might be a problem... also unless we can find our ideal boat on a mooring already in Bristol, to buy a boat and to move it to Bristol means we have to find a mooring... which are rarer than hens teeth.

I've already seen 2 boats I'd be really happy to live on board. This one is my favourite at the moment.

This barge "Warrior" 86 foot long so it's going to be very hard to find it a mooring in Bristol. It's currently in Wallasea Island, Essex, UK, which is the only reason I'm not sorting out a way of paying for it now!

The second boat "Nieuwe Zorg" at nearly 100 ft long will be even harder to find mooring for, but again it's very beautiful, has high ceilings that allow Jon to juggle on board, and it's very nicely fitted out, although it's not quite finished. This one is currently in London but comes with no mooring, so we would have to move it as soon as it was purchased.

The honest reality is that we would probably never be able to find a mooring for either of these boats in Bristol, but a girl can dream as she lays in bed, surfing the net on her laptop, trying not to vomit again.

Ah for the power of imagination. Now all I have to do is turn it into reality.

Ebb and Flow

2008-03-27T13:46:00.002Z

I'm at the lowest ebb that I've been in a long time. I am supposed to be at the British Juggling Convention this week, but on my way there I got sick. I was vomiting and... well I'll spare you the other details, so once again I had to come home and miss out on seeing all my friends and having fun. I'm just so tired of this illness robbing me of my social life. I'm finding it very hard to keep living. It's very hard to wake up every morning knowing that nothing has changed and that you will have no energy and muscle pain for yet another day and that if you over do it your body will in one way or another flake out on you. So you lay in bed fantasizing that you will wake up well and every time you do wake up and everything is still the same it just breaks your spirit, until you stop fantasizing about waking up well and you fantasize about not waking up at all.

I don't want to be dead, but I don't want my life the way it is, so what do you do?

Trying not to give up or be jealous

2008-03-20T14:44:00.002Z

Today I woke up feeling like I'd not slept at all. Everything hurts so much and I'm finding walking a real difficulty. Everyday I hope that when I fall asleep I'll either wake up the next day feeling better or I won't wake up at all. I can't live like this!

Now before you all run off and gather together a suicide watch team to monitor me 24/7, you don't need to bother. I would never take my own life. I love my Family and friends way too much to ever put them through having to deal with that. What I mean by "I can't live like this!" is that things need to change. I either have to find a cure for this horrible condition or I have to learn to live with it better, learn not to hate myself so much, learn to accept that I don't get to do all the stuff other people do.

This weekend a friend of mine and Jon's is in London for a few days. He lives in the USA so this is one of the rare times we will get to meet up with him, but because of my problem walking Jon is going to meet him without me. I'm so Jealous of him being able to go and it makes me cry to think that I could be that selfish. It's not Jon's fault I can't go, but I feel mad at him for being healthy. How crazy is that. How twisted am I to think that way.

I'm such a cow!

I need to sort my head out or my life is going to be pretty shitty, because I'll drive Jon away. God knows what he is doing with me in the first place.

And once again I'm whining. Shut the fuck up Skully!

The slacker returns!

2008-03-14T11:59:00.003Z

I've been really slack at keeping posting in this blog. Things around here have been busy and my body is in a state of falling apart. It refuses to work as it should and that's really been bringing me down. I've pasted a smile on my face most days and tried to just get on with it but I've reached melt down point now and it's going to be either a case of getting rid of my Etsy shop or employ someone to do the publicity for it. I can't keep up with making stock and doing all the advertising and networking that goes with making it a success. The only problem is, the shop doesn't make enough money to warrant me paying someone else... I'm reluctantly coming to the conclusion that it will probably have to go, but that would just plunge me into a deep depression at having failed at yet another project just because of this damn illness and my useless body.

I hate having M.E.!

Actually that statement isn't so true. I've had M.E. for 22 years and that's what I hate. I wouldn't be the person I am now if I hadn't got M.E. and I like the person I am now more than the person I was before, so I have to thank it for that and the many things it has taught me. I just wish now it would let up and give me a chance to finally have a break from it. I'm starting to feel like I'm trapped inside the cage of a body that isn't really mine. Mine, in my head, feels like it should be full of boundless energy and instead I have this one that finds just walking up a flight of stairs a challenge. I'm so tired of being exhausted.

Sorry for my whining. I guess I just needed to see all this written down so that later when I've pulled myself back together again and pasted that smile back on I can remind myself that getting down about it isn't going to help. I guess I'll just have to bite the bullet.... soon I guess... soon

Today I will be mostly....

2008-01-31T18:16:00.000Z

.... not achieving anything!

For the last few weeks I've found it very hard to get excited about anything, do anything or really achieve very much. Jon is, as always, so loving and supportive all through out my weird mood swings and tiredness. I don't know that, if it were the other way around, I'd be as patient and kind as he is. He keeps telling me I'm too hard on myself, too critical. I just see myself not getting any better, not rising above the illness, not making any progress. It's so frustrating to be trapped inside a body that not only aches all the time but refuses to be active when I need it to be. It doesn't help that I'm constantly having to fight my own nature of being an impatient person, because to do things in the time scale my head wants me to is made impossible by this stupid malfunctioning body. I feel like I'm constantly letting myself and everyone else around me down.

Grrrrrrrrrrr! If I had the energy I'd kick my own butt for being so whiny and ungrateful! I have, after all, got a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and people that love me. That is so much more than millions of people on this planet! I'm so damn sick of feeling so angry with myself, my body and my life!

"Nurse can you inject me with the happy juice now please!"

Walk, photograph and sleep

2008-01-12T18:02:00.000Z

When I woke up this morning the sun was shining for the first time in over a week. Yay sunshine! I got dressed, grabbed a whole bunch of my baby hats, Shamus the supermodel sheep, camera and Jon and went off for a short walk up the Canal to the stone bridge. I wanted to have a go at getting some better, more child friendly photos of my hats. We were out there for about one and a half hours. Shamus behaved and wasn't a bit divaequé even though he is now a supermodel. After about 20 hat changes and hundreds of photos taken by Jon we all came home again to have some lunch. By the time that was all done, all I felt able to do was edit 15 picks, edit 3 listings on etsy and then fall asleep.

Before dropping off to sleep I asked on the etsy forum for people to compare my old photos with the new style ones... I woke up to read a split of , "I like the new" and "I like the old" in the thread. Ho hum, that didn't hep much. I guess the fact that I even asked means that I'm not all the enamoured by them myself.

I better whisper this, I think I need a new supermodel with a more human baby shaped head and neck, but shhhhh don't tell Shamus...

I ache so much now and have a sore throat. I wish my body would stop with all this misbehaving and just find some balance again. Jon is being his usual wonderful self and looking after me, bringing me drinks and kisses whilst I lay in bed with his laptop typing this. I really should go and edit a few more pictures on my computer instead of laying here, but the thought of sitting up at the desk just makes me burn all over. So I'm just going to be a lazy bitch and stay here in bed watching the idiot box, sipping hot black current drink with honey.

I just realised. This trip out today was the first time I'd left the house in about a week. How terrible is that. I really must force myself to go out everyday. Try and build up a bit more strength. Maybe I should take a trip into town to Toys R Us to look for a new photographic model sometime next week. I worry going on my own though, in case my legs go and I'm left sitting on the pavement waiting for someone to come and rescue me. I guess if I don't try I'll never know.

Ok, time for another nap... Have a great day all.

Wait is over for 2 of the 3

2008-01-10T17:02:00.000Z

My beautiful recycled leather bound note book/sketch pad arrived and it's gorgeous. Trading Standards replied to me too. Not all that great news one way or the other, kind of limbo with a stay of execution. It looks like I'll be setting up on my own soon, but I can stay at Etsy for now.

The packing for my hoops hasn't arrived yet though. I'll have to chase them up tomorrow, or I'll be running out!

I'm trying hard to stay awake today. Every time I sit down to crochet I find myself falling asleep, so I'm having to get up and walk about. My legs are being rubbish at the moment so all this walking about is hurting somewhat. Oh well.

I hope you are all having a great start to the year.

Waiting and waiting and waiting and.....

2008-01-09T12:02:00.000Z

I'm waiting around for Trading Standards to call me back and let me know if the changes Etsy made by adding the USD to the listings is a big enough change to stop me from having to close my shops there. I'm hoping it is, but if it isn't I guess I'll just have to move onwards and upwards in a different direction.

I'm also waiting for a delivery of a beautiful hand made book that I have purchased from a lady, called Fleassy, that is very into being as green as possible in the way she creates things. She re-cycles most things and used more environmentally friendly goods when she can't find a re-cycled item to do the job. The pages are made of hemp paper, the leather is all re-cycled and the shells she collected herself. She is a most talented person, she also crochet, sews, paints, draws, knits, and makes gorgeous wire wrap jewellery. If you want to contact her email hippyllama[at]yahoo.co.uk

The other thing I'm waiting for is the packaging delivery. It better come soon or I'll be out of the packaging I use to post out the hula hoops... EEK!

Ho Hum.... I never have been very good at waiting.

A day of bad feeling and confusion

2008-01-07T17:39:00.000Z

Why does the winter make me feel so bad? Why do I feel so tired and so lost all the time? Someone kick me in the arse and tell me to get up and get on with life please, for I fear I might just fade into nothingness very soon.

I may have to close my shops on Etsy. Too many issues to deal with and too much of a bad taste in my mouth. Where do I go from here? To another site that offers space to sell from? To a website all my own? Do people want what I have to sell?

I love the roller coaster of life. It's crazy and fun at times. I just wish it would let me digest my lunch before it sends me hurtling down into another black hole at 150 mph.

Blank pages

2007-12-06T17:43:00.000Z

Why do blank pages scare me so much? They sit there accusing me of not filling them. Where did all the words go? I know they are here in my head somewhere waiting to be strung together to make up sentences and stories, but they are just playing hide and seek with me at the moment. The Brain fog is thick today.

Maybe today is a day of pictures...

Blankets and Sheep

2007-11-26T17:57:00.000Z

I've listed a few new items in my etsy shop and I'm trying a new item as of today. I've made a blanket for the Pirate Pixies to keep them warm in their bunks as they sleep.

I'm a little worried that some people might think that black is a bad colour for babies, so it really is just a testing of the waters. I going to make a few up in different colours so if that is the case they will have something other than black to choose from, but getting skull and crossbones fleece in any other than black with another colour is quite hard. I'm sure I'll get around this some other way. Maybe appliquéing the skulls in felt onto other colour fleeces would work...

I've also added a few more hats. My favourites being this orange and purple/blue skullcap

And this cute little new born Christmas Pirate Pixie hat in red and green

I'm working on another commission hat and should have it finished in a few days. Things are on and off busy, so that's good. I'm hoping my health will improve so I can socialize a bit more. Being stuck in the house most of the time is not good for morale.

I hope life is treating you well dear reader!

Time to get back to creating hats.

Distractions from work.

2007-11-20T15:40:00.000Z

Today I made a treasury on etsy when I was supposed to be making hats. Naughty me!

I love making hats, scarves and bags, but today I just had the urge to surf peoples shops and see what goodies I could find and as a treasury came up at the same time I grabbed it and put some of the great items I found into it. My favourite item of all of them is the felted purse by opheliafelt. I love the bright colours and I have a bit of a fibre fetish anyway! Not that any of you would have guessed!

Right, I have the urge to create again now. Wool and crochet hook here I come! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Have a great day dear reader.

2007-11-19T13:31:00.000Z

Hrmph...

2007-11-17T17:18:00.000Z

...pffft

Today is not being kind to me.

All or Nothing

2007-11-14T08:46:00.000Z

This last few weeks have been a bit of a roller-coaster ride as far as business has been concerned. For ages I had no orders, which was really getting me down. I was starting to believe that maybe only I loved the stuff I make and that trying to sell them on line was a waste of time. I became so blue about it that I was honestly thinking about shutting up shop on etsy. I knew no matter what I'd keep on making my hats, because I just love doing it, but I did think that I might end up just stock piling them until next years festival season started, when I could book stalls in craft markets and sell them face to face.

Selling things you love is so much easier face to face, because the customer gets to see just how much you enthuse about each item and how much care and attention to detail that you have taken. Selling on line is so much more impersonal. I try my hardest to convey just how wonderful I think my hats are, but I'm not sure the message really gets through. When all you have is text to express your enthusiasm I think you have to be a great word smith, and I'm not. I need the body language and the eye to eye contact.

I'm not going to shut down the shop. There are some orders coming in now and I have a repeat customer who wrote me a really lovely message telling me that she adored the first hat so much, could I make her another special one. I could tell that she got exactly what I loved about making my hats and it revived me and left me thinking I wasn't the only one that understood my passion. Thank Mother earth there are some wonderful people out there that take the time to make others feel good about themselves.

Orders have picked up at Hyperloop Hoops again this week. I thought we would get into a winter slump around now, but it seems the good old British public still want to get their wiggle on in the winter too. Yippeee! I love hoops!

I best get back to making things I love, and get these orders in the post.

Have a great day dear reader and fly solo with your passions if you have to. Someday someone will come along that understands your passion too!

Strange Hobbies and Secret Desires

2007-11-06T17:17:00.001Z

I have a few hobbies that some would call strange. I spin poi, both sock and fire. I hula hoop and juggle. I love nothing better than to wake up in a tent in a field full of like minded people and spend the day spinning and wiggling and having fun. Even when I'm at my sickest I will lay in bed and visualize moves I can do, or want to be able to do with my hoops and poi.

Poi have caused a big change in my life. Before I took up spinning them I'd been sick for a long time and had lost most of my social life because of it. I saw someone spin poi at a Womad Festival and decided to have a go. I found I could do a few basic moves, but I wanted more. I went in search of help on the net and found Home of Poi, a brilliant website, with an amazing community of poi and staff spinners that were friendly and only too pleased to help me learn. From that moment my life changed in a huge way. I found a massive group of people, of all ages and backgrounds, that I feel I fitted in with, a hobby that slowly helped me to grow stronger again and a partner that has moved in with me, who has shown me love and support way beyond anything I deserve. How he puts up with me I'll never know.

Two years ago I was reintroduced to hula hoops, by the lovely Molly, whom I met on Home of Poi. It was on a trip to Ireland with a whole group of people from HoP. I just fell in love with hula hoops right away and now I make hoops for others to enjoy. Hula hoops have some kind of magical power to make people smile. Wherever I go with my hoops I see people smiling. People are always coming over to chat and ask about the hoops and asking if they can have a try. I've never seen anyone ever walk away from hooping without a huge smile on their face. I love spreading the love of the wiggle!

I'm not all that good at getting myself filmed doing either poi spinning or hooping, but I'll link a couple of films of people doing both so you can get an idea about what they are if you have never seen either.

This is an amazing hooper from America Spiral. Not the greatest quality video but she has some great moves going on!

This is a great friend of mine and Jons, Dave. He is a really great poi spinner and we love him dearly.

I have a not so secret desire to be as good or better than either of them... I think it might take me a very long time and a lot of practice!

Why didn't I......?

2007-10-28T15:35:00.000Z

My house looks a bit of a mess. There are crafting boxes full of yarn and tape everywhere, not to mention the boxes full of finished hats, bags and hair accessories and the coils of pipe for hoop making and finished hoops. Why didn't I pick something small to make, things that are easy to keep in tiny little boxes?

Oh no. Not I! I make hula hoops and vast quantities of crochet and knitted goods. So dear reader if you are thinking of becoming a self employed hand crafter I urge you, for your own sanity and space, pick a craft that can be packed away into one large filing cabinet or chest of draws....

I made a 5 colour hoop today for a lady in Edinburgh. She picked out a really nice green, purple and pink combo of colours. It's sitting propped up against the wall on the other side of the room and it keeps catching my eye. I swear it's trying to talk me into keeping it. No you naughty hoop, you must not tempt me for you are destined to be the wiggling companion of another!

I must stop procrastinating here and settle down to writing up the Pirate Pixie adventures for the site. Otherwise there will be nothing for the little ones to download and read. I've got some of the pictures ready for them to colour in, but the stories must get written! Avast me hearties I feel Captain Skulduggery Dug taking over me brain again.....

Oh and own up, who ate all my Rotring pens? I have some inking to do.

Sitting On The Doorstep...

2007-10-24T10:51:00.000+01:00

This morning I had to take Weapon X (one of our 2 cats) to the vets. He's been fighting with the neighbours cat Joey again and has a big yucky wound on his side. In the rush to get X into his carrier and get out the door and into the taxi, that was to take us down to the vets, I managed to slam the front door closed and leave my keys locked inside. Worst part of that is I didn't notice until I got back home... How stupid did I feel standing outside my own front door in the freezing cold, with a grumpy cat in his cat box? Very! is the answer to that one. I had to call Jon in work to come home and let me in. All I could do was wait.

I let X out of his carrier because he was getting very annoyed. He went off to play with next doors kitten in the garden. I was a bit worried that because he was so indignant and annoyed at having been taken to the vets that he might take out his annoyance on the tiny 9 week old kitten, but to his credit he just played and they chased each other about and practised creeping up on each other. What this tiny kitten was doing out on such a cold day I'm not sure because he was really shivering. When he got tired of pouncing on X he came over to me and sat on my lap. I snuggled him up into the arm of my jumper and he purred. Such a little cutie. I hope he doesn't grow up to be as aggressive as his evil 9 year old housemate Joey. We could do without another bruiser cat on the street.

After a 20 mins wait Jon finally got home to let me in. He was like a whirlwind. He ran up to the front door, unlocked it and kissed me, said "bye hun, love you" and was gone. It was a bit surreal. So now I'm back indoors with a hot cup of tea, wondering if I should scoop up the kitten and bring it in out of the cold as no one seems to be home next door. He's running about in the garden like a loon at the moment... maybe I'll see what he does when he is tired out again. If no one is back by then I'll wrap him up in a blankie and bring him in the house for a bit. It will probably go down like a lead balloon with my to kitties, but I can't let him freeze.

I think I might have to make one of my house keys into a necklace... that or get a door that opens at the scan of my hand. I'm forever forgetting my keys or losing them in the bottom of my bag.

That Sinking Feeling

2007-10-22T17:37:00.000+01:00

Do you ever have days where it feels like creativity is desperate to get out of you, but something gets in the way of it doing so. Stupid, trivial little things jumping up and down in front of you willing you not to let anything creative out of your body.

I'm having one of those days.

I tried to buy card to make some gift boxes, but all they had in the store was pastel coloured card or black card. I came home with some of the black... I'm really not a pastel kind of girl. The black card turned out to be such bad quality that at every crease the card flaked and showed an ugly white crack. Not really ideal for gift boxes. It doesn't even flake consistently so I can turn it into a feature of the boxes... pffft.

I was asked by a very nice lady on etsy to make her a bag for her daughter. She requested some specific colours for the bag to be made in and I have spent hours on the internet trying to find the right yarn... but can I find it? Nope! I can think of many other ways to fulfil her request, but I just don't have the right things here in the house to do it and after the walk to the shop to buy the card my legs don't want to go anywhere else. They have gone on strike... pffft.

So, not wishing to sit about doing nothing I decided to make another hat and got out some beautiful multicoloured Blue Faced Leicester wool that I've been dying to use. I rolled the skein into a ball and as I did a whole heap of red dusty particles came out all over the floor and my fingers were stained with dye from the yarn... how am I meant to make baby hats with yarn that will leave them covered in a fine red dust and stain their heads a nicotine yellow colour.. AGRH!

After contacting the seller of the yarn I was told that the dust was part of one of the dyes used to colour the yarn and it was harmless, it just needed washing and rinsing a few more times. To be fair to her, she was very apologetic and refunded me my money straight away, so I'm not really complaining about that. I've washed the yarn and it's hanging up to dry, but still I've not created anything and it's almost 6pm and I'm ready for my bed... pffft, today just wasn't meant to be a creative one.

I hope you are all having a more productive day than I am and that the sun is shining on you.

Woodn't it be good...

2007-10-19T20:54:00.000+01:00

I've always felt that trees are very important to me. I feel very calm when I sit under trees, the branches splayed out over my head like a protective umbrella. I always have the urge to talk to them... or maybe it's more the urge to ask them questions and listen to what they have to say. The older the tree the more I want to be able to hear it's story, for they must have a story to tell. They have been there for hundreds of years seeing everything go by and all the ebb and flow of life that passes them. The diversity of life that an old oak supports is amazing. From the birds and the bugs, to the mosses and lichens.

Art inspired by trees never fails to draw me in either. Many years ago I was told off and removed from an art gallery for stroking a Henry Moore instillation. I hadn't even intended to touch it. It just drew me in. For the life of me I can't remember which gallery it was in. I was so mesmerized by it everything else about that day has faded away.

I was reminded of that encounter a few days ago when I saw some other art works inspired by trees. I just had a kind of flash back, which was odd. I decided tonight to go in search of more tree art on etsy and thought I'd share a few with you people here on blogger.

I found this signed print is by atwhim and it reminded me of being young, loving to climb trees and longing to be able to live in one. I'd opt to live in the tall thin green house so I could see higher up into the tree from my bedroom window.

I'm loving the imagery of this work by oladesig. I often feel like pulling the earth up around me to keep me safe and warm. The tiny trees just enhances that warm feeling for me.

Jellybeans is the person that set me on this trail of searching for tree influenced work. She has so many brightly coloured beautiful trees in her shop, it's very hard to choose just one to show you...I picked this one because the bright cheerful colours of the yellow red and green trees make me smile and the cool soft blues and purples of the trunks draw out calm vibes in me.

This large stunning piece has been up for sale on etsy for some time and to be honest I'm a bit surprised. I know johnmcaberysculpture has put a fairly large price tag on it, but to me it's worth every penny and more. I think it's so beautifully tactile and power in the curves and wave like forms only serves to draw me in more, for the sea is another of my loves.

Here is a photograph by my friend Beth. She isn't on etsy, but I had to share this gorgeous delight with you. The colours and the scale of the tree just thrilled me so much when she showed it to me that it instantly became my desktop picture! Sadly this tiny little thumbnail doesn't do it justice. *Click the thumbnail! You know you want to!*

I confess to picking this item just because it made me smile. Yes I know I'm childish, but hey being wide eyed and childlike is not such a bad thing is it? Better that than pessimistic and jaded. Well that's how I think anyway. Thanks tooktothesky for the giggle!

Lastly for now this tiny little pendant caught my eye. It's red blossom and black branches reminded me that although the leaves are dropping now and we are slipping into a cold grey winter, all the joy of spring is there to look forward to. Thanks for the reminder TheIntuitiveGarden

Invite Joy Back Into Your Life.

2007-10-19T10:53:00.000+01:00

With so much doom and gloom going on in the world around us its sometimes quite east to forget that each of us can make good things happen. We all have that power. People get into this "why should I do *insert good deed here*? No one will thank me for it" or "If I *insert good deed here*, someone will only come along after me and trash it." Well, both those statements could turn out to be true, but equally your good deed might make someone else's day full of happiness and joy. It might make a huge difference to someone else and lead them to perform a good deed. That good deed might cause another person to have a fabulous day and in return for that they might perform a good deed.... see where this is headed? Happiness can be spread very easily if we all just try a little harder.

Invite happiness and joy back into your life. It's really simple. You can start out with small deeds, like saying good morning to a lonely neighbour. When going to the supermarket, why not offer to pick up groceries for someone that can't get about so easily as they used to, after all you are going to the shop anyway, would it take you so much more time to put a basket in the end of your trolley and pick them up some good too?

A gardening friend of mine used to take cuttings from her garden and pot them up in the tubes that you get from the centre of toilet rolls, grow them on for the summer and then give them away to people. The people that received them were always happy to be given a new plant and she got great joy in being invited around for a cup of tea, to see how the plants were doing.

Some elderly people can find making ends meet very hard, what with pensions being so low and the cost of living being so high. If you know someone is struggling, not turning their heating on for fear of the bills, eating too little, not getting out and about etc, call on them for a chat about something and check they are ok. Find a pretence to invite them over to your home. Maybe tell them you need advice on something that they might now about. Thank them for the advice by inviting them to dinner. Just make them feel wanted and welcome and keep checking up on them regularly. You'd be amazed at the wealth of knowledge these people have collated over their lives. Just because they are old doesn't mean they have no purpose. Help them to feel they are needed and wanted in your community. You never know what they might teach you in return.

Spreading joy can be a very rewarding thing to do. Give it a go today. Just perform one good deed and see where it leads.

Vibrant Mood Enhancers

2007-10-15T08:04:00.000+01:00

It's dark and grey here and I'm starting to really sink into the Winter blues. Most people I've ever met that have S.A.D. tell me that mostly they just want to eat and sleep. I'm finding that I don't want to eat and that I desperately want to be surrounded by vivid colours. This colour craving is a new one on me. I don't think I've ever felt this before. It's kind of like feeling hungry but with your eyes, not your stomach.

I'm very tired all the time and I'm withdrawing from society more and more each day. Maybe I'm just meant to hibernate in the winter under a bright pink, purple and orange fluffy blanket. I know when Spring gets here all this will melt away like the ice and I'll feel better again, but I'm really not looking forward to these cold dark days ahead.

I'm trying to channel my energy into finishing off some projects I have on the go, but I'm finding it hard to concentrate. I have orders from my Hyperloop Hoops site for 8 hoops that I need to make, so that should fulfil my need for colours for a few hours today. I love the gorgeous pigmentations of the tapes I use to cover the hoops. The transparent box I store them in is behind me and often when the hankering for colour comes over me I turn and look over my shoulder at them. Even through the box you can see the holographic tapes shimmer. I'm glad I make hula hoops! They even give me joy when they are still in their component form. How many people can say that about their work.

I also have some purses to sew zips into and some Captain Skulduggery Dug Skull & Crossbone key fobs to finish so that I can take photos of them and put them in my etsy shop ready for all those people looking for something a bit different to put into their kids Christmas stockings. Don't be surprised when you visit my shop in the next few weeks that it's full of bright fluorescent or deep dramatic colour combinations. When the cravings for colours get strong, I'm sure I'll be going wild and buying lots of weird colour combinations of hand painted wool to make hats from. I might have to badger some of the great spinners on etsy like Cazza and Shunklies into making me skeins of odd colour combinations. Don't panic. I think it's just a phase I'm going through. I'm sure, come Beltane I'll be back to normal.

Hair, the eternal battle

2007-10-12T11:36:00.000+01:00

Why do people always fight the natural tendencies of their hair? If they have curly hair they want it straightened, if they have straight hair they want curls. If they have blonde hair they want to dye it brown, if they have brown they dye it blonde. Why are we never satisfied with what we have? Is it part of the human condition to want something different all the time?

It's not just a modern thing either. The ancient Egyptians adorned their hair with decorations and had different hair styles to denote age and status. The ancient Greek women were known to artificially curl their hair and wear hair bands and decorations. The styles and trends changed through the years as they still do now.

Hair appears to play a huge part in some societies. The styles and the way they are worn are quite often more than just a look. They often denote where you are within a group, your status and your tribe. I guess that's true of today as well.

I took a look through the handmade hair items at etsy to see what was on offer for people to use on and in their hair today. Here are a few of the ones I found and liked. They span from the bright and cheerful to exquisitely elegant.

Here is a bright little button ponytail tie that's perfect for holding all those monster hairs back off your face. I was attracted to the bright orange colour and the kooky little spider design. It was created by dizzlePOP and is aptly named MOLLY the MONSTER.

Then I found these gorgeous bobby pins made by katinkapinka. Such simple, yet pretty flowers on a basic hair pin. Very elegant indeed.

I Picked these bobbles for the fun factor that they glow in the dark. Their beautiful marble effect caught my eye too. Made by Checkitout out of polymer clay, I think they are great fun for wearing in the winter on a dark night.

Now for keeping your locks lovely and clean. This shampoo bar is crated by BlueMarmalade who tells me it not only cleans your hair, leaving it smelling yummy, but it helps to make fine hair look thicker. It has other added benefits that many a mum will be pleased with. Go take a look and see.

Sedesigns has this very elegant Kanzashi Hair Fork on offer in her shop. The delicate detail on the bead is set off beautifully by the simple nature of the sterling silver fork.

More cleansing products for your hair by SudsAndBubbles who has a variety of cold press bars of shampoo for your hair to keep them shiny and clean.

I picked this one because it just made me giggle. A pink ninja? Whatever next! This pink Ninja was made by MoJo and I think it's a great accessory to own. Very cute, even if it's not all that ninja.

Lastly I thought I'd pimp up my own hair creation. This is one for all those people that have to have sensible hair to go to work with but like to jazz it up at the weekends. It's made of 14 felted multicoloured wool spikes that fan out when tied around a ponytail or bun. Great for adding colour to your hair and making it look a bit more alternative.

So what have I learn whilst doing all this searching through etsy shops... well I learned there are many styles and types of hair products to appeal to our many and varied ideas of what out hair needs and should look like.

If I haven't highlighted anything you fancy take a look on etsy and see there is a world of other hand crafted goods for your hair out there. One of them is bound to suit you.

In the beginning...

2007-10-11T12:58:00.000+01:00

So I woke up this morning and thought about cleaning up the house and organising my workroom. I signed onto the net to check emails, orders, my etsy shops and my Hyperloop Hoops site and it's now 12.55 pm and I'm still on the net! I'm so easily distracted from my plans. I need a slap hehe.

I need to promote my shops on etsy more and the hoops and whilst jumping about the net to see how I could do that I hit on this blog site and decided to give blogging a go. I'm not sure I'll be any good at it or if it will just be me rambling on about lots of things no one wants to read about, but nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Today has just been me fiddling with settings and trying to find a template I like. I'll probably change the template again tomorrow. I can never make my mind up. My brain is one of those restless ones that likes to flit about without me having any control over it. I'm sure I was a butterfly in a past life.

I must get on with some cleaning and work now, so I'm going to surgically detach myself from the computer and head off to reacquaint myself with my vacuum cleaner.

May your day be filled with sunshine and joy!
Thanks for visiting my blog.