.... not achieving anything!
For the last few weeks I've found it very hard to get excited about anything, do anything or really achieve very much. Jon is, as always, so loving and supportive all through out my weird mood swings and tiredness. I don't know that, if it were the other way around, I'd be as patient and kind as he is. He keeps telling me I'm too hard on myself, too critical. I just see myself not getting any better, not rising above the illness, not making any progress. It's so frustrating to be trapped inside a body that not only aches all the time but refuses to be active when I need it to be. It doesn't help that I'm constantly having to fight my own nature of being an impatient person, because to do things in the time scale my head wants me to is made impossible by this stupid malfunctioning body. I feel like I'm constantly letting myself and everyone else around me down.
Grrrrrrrrrrr! If I had the energy I'd kick my own butt for being so whiny and ungrateful! I have, after all, got a roof over my head, food in my stomach, and people that love me. That is so much more than millions of people on this planet! I'm so damn sick of feeling so angry with myself, my body and my life!
"Nurse can you inject me with the happy juice now please!"
4 comments:
I think you are in some sort of parallel universe with me. Maybe you ARE me and I just don't know it.
I too am perpetually coming up with ideas, getting excited and my body says, "NO". I think my body and I need to have a little talk.
My friends think I am amazing, getting all of this "stuff" done but really I am doing nothing...except buying domain names and thinking of a million uses for them.
Anyway, my blog post for today is a little present for you.
You're the cool kid now.
Dr Mithi coming in with HappySunshine Juice!!!! Open wide!!!
Ola Skully ... I was just looking through my blog and spotted your comment ... when did you leave it? I got NO notification of it (usually get e-mails) ... I'm sorry if it looked like I was ignoring you - I wasn't I swear! I hadn't even seen the comment!!!
Anyways, wish I'd gotten to speak to a few more of Drew's friends (that includes you of course!)at the L&C wedding - we were just so shattered after having driven across the country to go to his Gran's funeral...
Thanks again for the comment... I'm eyeing up your etsy baby hats - just need to find a sprogging friend!
Hi Mithi
I forget when I left it. It was when your engagement was posted on HoP. No worries about not replying. It's been a busy and odd few weeks. I think it's something in the air!
*hug*
Ooops, I'm Skully under my other blog name.
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